You know you're grown up when crabs aren't innocent...

So Kyser has been desperately begging for a pet for the last three years. We got him some fish which committed suicide. We got him a cute little fuzzy puppy that grew into Sasquatch with an anger management problem. So I did a little research on low maintenance, hard to kill pets that can withstand years without any kind of attention. Turns out, hermit crabs are relatively low-maintenance...
As luck would have it, a friend passed along to us a little Hermit Crab Habitat (I call it a Hermitat) with sand, shells and a little climbing cave. So off we went up to the pet store to seek out the hermit crab for the Hermitat.
Kyser was thrilled, of course. All he knows of pets at this point is that every time a toilet flushes a gold fish gets its wings AND the very important difference between a playful nip and a nothing-but-teeth attack!
The pet store is always fun. Puppies, guppies and yuppies, you know. And this is where for me, it got kind of dicey.
When you are a child, crabs are, well little sea creatures that walk sideways, pinch, and sing in Disney musicals. Then you grow up, read a couple of bathroom walls and pamphlets from planned parenthood and the innocence is gone. So while Kyser was fascinated by the little sea creatures, and soaked up every word the pet store lady told us, I just kept trying to keep a straight face through phrases like:

• Crabs like to have company. They are very social.
• You need to keep your crabs moist.
• If you've never had crabs before I'll give you a pamphlet that will walk you through it.
• Crabs are low maintenance and they're pretty hard to kill off. When they start smelling bad that is when you know something has gone wrong.

So after practically biting through my lips to keep from smiling, we left the pet store, Kyser just beaming as he held his new little pals (Mr. Krabs and Norville). We walked out into the bright morning sunshine where Kyser proudly and loudly proclaimed at the top of his lungs:

"Mama, I can't believe you gave me crabs! Thanks so much for the crabs, Mom. These are the best crabs anyone has ever given me."